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FAULTY INTELLIGENT DESIGN

The proponents of ID have repeatedly stated that it has nothing to do with creationism or one’s belief in Unohu.  Unfortunately, the Wedge Document that somehow escaped from the Discovery Institute and ended up on the Internet clearly states what their motives and intent are --- to do away with "materialistic evolution" and replace it with good old Bible thumping religion.  However, just because the Discovery Institute is behind the Intelligent Design movement doesn’t mean it isn’t true and doesn't have some scientific merit.  It is kind of like saying to Jesus “How can you be a Christian, you’re Jewish.”

Let’s accept the idea of an Intelligent Designer

We would like to think that the Intelligent Designer is pretty good at what he does.  He would not create flawed or defective human beings.  Yet hundreds of children are born everyday with birth defects.  Where is the design in this?  Unohu doesn’t make mistakes.

Proponents of ID say the Intelligent Designer is some unidentified superior intelligence in the universe that they can’t or won’t identify.

Unohu doesn’t make mistakes.  Maybe Unohu isn’t the designer.  Maybe Unohu is outsourcing.

The only logically answer is a faulty Intelligent Designer.  In other words, he or they are really, really smart but not perfect.  Kind of like your average above-average geek.  So who or what is the designer?

Who is this so-called superior intelligence?  Why won’t they identify or reveal themselves to us?  How many are there and where do they come from?

A CLUE

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Okay, let's do a little test.  The picture to the left is a common flounder.  There must be millions of them swimming around in the ocean.  Why is it swimming on its side?  Why does it have two eye balls on one side of its head?

It begs the question:

WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS THING?

Excuse the pun but it just doesn't look right.  Actually it does look right ---it can't look left --- it doesn't have any eyes on the left side of its head.

But we digress.

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HAGFISH
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SEA LAMPREY
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STAR-NOSED MOLE
Again we ask --- "Who ther hell designed these things?"
These thing just  look weird ---dare we say it ---they look alien.  There you go ---there's your clue.
Okay, you get it yet?  Do you see where we are headed? (If you are on a school board and we are going too fast for you --- don't worry --- we have provided the answer.)

THE ANSWER

The answer is obvious.  The Intelligent Designer or designers are not from around here.  That's right, we're talking aliens from outer space. 
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You were expecting someone else?
We are not talking cartoon characters and not talking the chest-burster, acid-dripping mothers from the movies of the same name.
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Or the  Predator-type aliens Or MARS ATTACKS types...
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We are talking more other worldly type alien beings. 
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We were thinking more along the line of Klaatu in THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (the original, not the remake).   It’s the only thing that makes sense.
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Michael Rennie as Klaatu
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ALIENS IN EDEN

Aliens must of landed in the Garden of Eden and done some sort of experiments.  We’re not talking anal probe stuff here.  Just some sort of weird something.  Cloning.  Ribs.  Dr. Frankenstein stuff.  Making mud come to life. 

According to Jewish edition of the Old Testament, Eve wasn’t even Adam’s first partner.  There was Lilith, a cool babe that apparently was a little too Ann Coulterish for Adam.  Not the type of woman you want to take home to Mom.  Then there was the unnamed “female” that apparently was created in front of Adam and he got to see all the gory details of how you form a human from mud.  According to anonymous sources you could see her inside and blood pulsing through her veins --- a little too graphic for Adam we’re afraid.  Finally, Unohu or the aliens figured it out and put Adam to sleep while He (they) worked his (their) magic and created Eve.

Would Unohu really do this type of thing?  No, of course not.  Aliens from outer space?  You betcha.

We know, we know --- a little far fetched.  Surprised?  We know we were when we figured it all out.  Think about it.

Aliens come from the far reaches of outer space.  And where is Heaven?   Outer Space.  We rest our case.  Is this why the folks supporting Intelligent Design don’t want to talk about the details?

Sounds like science fiction but is in truth science fact.

It’s time the proponents of Intelligent Design fess up and admit that they have been talking aliens all along.  Creation by Unohu?  Forgetaboutit.  Humans were created by aliens?
 

BINGO!!!

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The folks at the Creation Museum keep whinning "Where you there, where you there?"  Well, in the next section we are going to introduce you to a man who has met the aliens and will explain it all.

It’s time the Intelligent Designer came out of the closet.


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