PORK'S
GEORGE LUCAS TIME LINE THEORY
Bishop Ussher (1581-1656)
USSHER'S TIME LINE THEORY
The Bible says that UNOHU created the world in seven days. Many people believe it was seven days --- period. I suppose they are referring to earth days. But there are many planets in the Universe and they all have different lengths for days. Maybe the Bible was referring to “UNOHU days” kind of like “dog years” are not the same as human years. I mean UNOHU lives forever --- I can’t imagine UNOHU’s day are the same length as us little humans.
Remember that the Bible was written by folks who thought the earth was flat and revolved around the sun.
How old is the earth? Science says billions. The Creation Museum and some Bible scholars still use the Ussher chronology and say the earth is only 6,000 years old.
Who was Ussher?
Ussher was the Anglician Archbishop of Armagh and he figured out the age of the earth using the Bible for reference.
Ussher's chronology provides the following dates for key events in the Biblical history of the world:
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4004 BC - Creation (3:15pm EST)
2348 BC - The Great Flood
1491 BC - The Exodus from Egypt.
4 BC - December 25 --- The birth of Jesus.
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Maybe Unohu created Adam 6000 years ago. Maybe Adam was the first human to keep track of this sort of thing.
Why Unohu decided to create a human being named Adam 6,000 years ago when humans had already evolved over millions of years is beyond might be a little difficult for some to understand. (See below to understand how this is possible).
It is obvious from the Bible that other humans were around about the same time (that would explain where Cain’s wife came from). If Unohu didn’t create them, they must have evolved to the same point as Adam. Of course being human and with not much else to do they started begatting --- Unohu’s humans and the evolved humans --- inter-breeding. That would help explain the struggle between our divine self and our more primitive, evolved self.
In order to understand how Unohu created the earth over 6,000 years ago and understand how the Earth could be billions of years old you have to realize that Unohu is all powerful and that He can do anything he wants. In a way, Unohu is like George Lucas.
The Bible says that UNOHU created the world in seven days. Many people believe it was seven days --- period. I suppose they are referring to earth days. But there are many planets in the Universe and they all have different lengths for days. Maybe the Bible was referring to “UNOHU days” kind of like “dog years” are not the same as human years. I mean UNOHU lives forever --- I can’t imagine UNOHU’s day are the same length as us little humans.
Remember that the Bible was written by folks who thought the earth was flat and revolved around the sun.
How old is the earth? Science says billions. The Creation Museum and some Bible scholars still use the Ussher chronology and say the earth is only 6,000 years old.
Who was Ussher?
Ussher was the Anglician Archbishop of Armagh and he figured out the age of the earth using the Bible for reference.
Ussher's chronology provides the following dates for key events in the Biblical history of the world:
______________________________________________
4004 BC - Creation (3:15pm EST)
2348 BC - The Great Flood
1491 BC - The Exodus from Egypt.
4 BC - December 25 --- The birth of Jesus.
______________________________________________
Maybe Unohu created Adam 6000 years ago. Maybe Adam was the first human to keep track of this sort of thing.
Why Unohu decided to create a human being named Adam 6,000 years ago when humans had already evolved over millions of years is beyond might be a little difficult for some to understand. (See below to understand how this is possible).
It is obvious from the Bible that other humans were around about the same time (that would explain where Cain’s wife came from). If Unohu didn’t create them, they must have evolved to the same point as Adam. Of course being human and with not much else to do they started begatting --- Unohu’s humans and the evolved humans --- inter-breeding. That would help explain the struggle between our divine self and our more primitive, evolved self.
In order to understand how Unohu created the earth over 6,000 years ago and understand how the Earth could be billions of years old you have to realize that Unohu is all powerful and that He can do anything he wants. In a way, Unohu is like George Lucas.
Skinny George and friend.
When George Lucas created the first STAR WARS movie he had no idea how popular or successful it would be. He claimed it was all part of a triple Trilogy --- three parts each having three parts and that the first STAR WARS movie was actually the fourth chapter in the series. But we didn’t know that when we saw the first movie. We thought it was the first movie.
The same thing with the Godfather movies. We thought the first movie was the first story --- we didn’t know that Godfather Part II was actually Part I and Part III and that Godfather Part III was really Part IV…Capeesh? You with me?
According to Ussher, Unohu created the Heavens and the Earth about 6,000 years ago. For the sake of argument, let’s say this is the correct date. After Adam and Eve sinned and everything turned against them --- dinosaurs became carnivores (one could assume that the T-rex forced Adam and Eve out of the Garden, it wasn’t Unohu) and the shit hit the fan, Unohu realized that Man and Dinosaurs could not co-exist.
But Unohu really liked the dinosaurs and thought that maybe he should separate them from Man so He pushed back time to a new beginning, a PREQUEL if you will. Is that cool or what? And since He liked Dinosaurs so much he gave them lots of time to develop and evolve into different kinds of dinosaurs. Unohu also realized that He had to separate Man and dinosaurs by a few million years --- say 65 million just to make sure they didn’t get into a conflict.
PORK'S GEORGE LUCAS' TIME LINE
Also that would give the little mammals running around the dinosaurs’ feet time to evolve in something intelligent --- like Man. Unohu realized that creating humans from mud was very time consuming and not very practical. He had to come up with an easier way of creating things so He invented, you guessed it, Evolution. He created a basic shape and then He’d say to himself “Gee, I wonder what that will look like in a few million years?” Some creatures --- like humans --- He already had a prototype so He could help steer the design in that direction.
Since this all happened before Adam was created, he would have no knowledge or understanding of it. That’s why it isn’t mentioned in the Bible.
When you are Unohu you can push time backwards, forwards, anything you want even if it takes millions and billions of years. Unohu has all the time in the Universe. He is all the time in the Universe. Don’t underestimate the Power and Abilities of Unohu.
If George Lucas was smart enough to think up Star Wars, Wookies and hyper-speed you know UNOHU must be even smarter.
Did humans and dinosaurs co-exist? Not really. Think about it. If you ever saw any of the JURASSIC PARK movies you would know it’s not a very realistic or a practical idea for man and dinosaurs to co-exist. We wouldn’t be here if that did. Think about it. Use your common sense.
Unohu is too smart to do something that stupid.
Dinosaur didn’t survive the flood on Noah’s ark. They were extinct 65 millions years before Noah was even born.
PRAYING OR PREYING
Did Adam and Eve co-exist with dinosaurs? No. People who tell lies like this to children are preying on their innocence and should be ashamed of themselves.
The Creation Museum refers to Dinosaurs a “missionary lizards.” Give us a freakin’ break. Missionary lizards? Dinosaurs are not lizards. This is the 21st century and the Creation Museum needs to get with a new program. They need to talk to some real scientists or at least talk to a 11 year old kid that knows the facts about dinosaurs and not some made up stories by humans so they can build a cool museum because they lack real faith in the Bible to capture the imaginations of the children that they prey on.
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